Full Balance (The Peachtree Series Book 3) Page 21

  Austin gave him a funny look. “Yeah, staring at a bunch of farm animals. That sounds even more boring than petting them.”

  “Just give it a try,” Stephen coaxed. “It won’t hurt. If you really find it that boring, we can do something else, but you won’t know if you don’t try.”

  “Whatever. Fine.”

  They wandered through the barns for a while. Russ stopped to rub the nose of a calf that was only a few months old but when he asked Austin if he wanted to, he merely shrugged. “Nah, I’m good. I don’t need to pet the food I eat. Besides, it smells like poo in here.”

  Stephen bit back a smile and reached out to pet the calf.

  “Sorry, Russ, but that was pretty dumb,” Austin said after they’d gone through a few more barns.

  Russ looked crushed but Stephen patted him on the back. “Let’s check out some other things.”

  Unfortunately, the barns exhibiting winning flowers, vegetables, and handmade quilts didn’t thrill Austin either, and he looked even more bored by the time they made their way through.

  “Dude, that was worse,” Austin said. “Double boring.”

  “I don’t know, it’s kind of cool that people grow and make all those things,” Russ protested.

  Austin shot him a distinctly unamused look. “Yeah, no.”

  “Why don’t we check out the rides and music for a while?” Stephen suggested.

  To get to the rest of the fair, they had to go through the food truck area and Austin perked up. “Ooh. Can I get ice cream?”

  “Sure,” Russ said with a sigh. He pointed to a dispenser on a picnic table that was set up. “Use some hand sanitizer before you eat though.”

  Austin squirted some on his hands and rubbed it around as he looked at the food trucks. “Ooh, there’s elephant ears too. What about that?”

  “You can have one or the other,” Stephen said.

  Austin let out an aggravated noise. “Fine. Elephant ears, I guess.”

  “Those are my favorite,” Russ said. “Good choice.”

  “Dude, I have to share?” Austin whined. “That’s no fair.”

  “Well, it would be nice,” Stephen said, “but no, you don’t have to. Russ and I can get one of our own.”

  “Who says I’m sharing with you?” Russ teased.

  Stephen threw up his hands. “Fine, one for each of us.”

  Austin grinned, but it quickly faded into a sullen expression, like he didn’t want to admit he was having fun.

  “Can I go on some rides first? I don’t want to eat and then throw up.”

  “I think that sounds like an excellent plan,” Stephen agreed. “Let’s go.”

  “You don’t have to come.”

  Russ stopped in his tracks. “Oh, okay.”

  “Can we just, like, meet back here in a while or something?”

  They exchanged glances. Stephen could see the turmoil in Russ’s eyes, but he gave Stephen a reluctant nod. “Sure. Let’s check-in with each other in about 45 minutes. That’ll be 8:35.”

  “8:35. Got it. See ya.” Austin disappeared into the crowd before they could say anything else.

  “Should I feel slighted?” Russ joked.

  Stephen smiled. “No. He’s just being a normal teenager, I think. Wanting some independence.”

  “I know.” Russ scrubbed his hands over his face. “I just can’t help but worry.”

  “We have to show him we trust him.”

  “You’re right. I know you are.”

  “Besides, this is good, right? He asked for something he wanted and saw that we would give it to him within reasonable limits.”

  “True.”

  “Come on. Let’s go ride the Ferris wheel,” Stephen coaxed. “There’s no reason we can’t have fun while he’s off doing his thing.

  “Really?” Russ shot him a skeptical look.

  “Really. Unless you don’t want to?”

  “No, I do. I was just surprised you did.”

  “Don’t underestimate my willingness to get time alone with you,” Stephen said.

  Russ chuckled. “Okay. Let’s get in line.”

  When they joined the line, it snaked around the base of the Ferris wheel. As they waited, Russ stuck his hands in his pockets, a pensive look on his face.

  “Is something wrong?” Stephen asked. “Are you worried about Austin?”

  “Not really worried he’s getting in trouble or anything,” Russ said. “Just concerned. I thought this was going to be a super fun evening for all three of us and I’m not sure if he’s enjoying it. He seems like he might be for a minute and then I’m not sure. What do you think?”

  “I think at times Austin wants to be mad at the world in general,” Stephen said. “And he’s annoyed because he’s having a good time.”

  Russ chuckled. “You’re probably right. I just worry I’m approaching it all wrong, you know?”

  “I know,” Stephen said. He pressed his hand against Russ’s shoulder blade. “But we’ll figure it out.”

  “I thought I’d be better at this.”

  “Better at what?”

  “I don’t know. Parenting in general? Connecting to Austin specifically?”

  “You are good at it, Russ. But it isn’t going to come to you automatically.”

  “It seems to be for you,” he said quietly, and there was a little hurt in his words that made the pieces fall into place. Russ was envious of the rapport Austin and Stephen were developing and doubting his ability to do the same. Understandable, of course, but he was being too hard on himself.

  “I’m enjoying this more than I expected to,” Stephen admitted. “But it’s still going to take Austin time to warm up to us and he has had an awful lot of tragedy in his life. He isn’t going to easily let go of that distrust.”

  “I know all of this intellectually,” Russ said. “I just want so badly to make it better for him.”

  “I think a looser rein might help,” Stephen pointed out gently. “Give him a chance to come to you, rather than expecting that you two will instantly bond.”

  “You know I don’t do great with just relaxing and letting go.”

  Stephen hid a laugh behind a cough. Based on the look Russ gave him, it didn’t fool anyone. “You don’t say?” Stephen gently teased.

  “Okay, fine. I’m terrible at it. But I seriously don’t know how to get better.”

  “I wish I had a great solution for you, Russ. But I think you just need to keep remembering that this is going to be a very slow process for all of us. And frankly, it isn’t a competition between us.” He gestured between them. “Any success one of us has with connecting to Austin benefits all of us as a family.”

  “You’re right.” Russ sounded humbled. “I know that.”

  “I know how badly you wanted this though and why it would feel disappointing that it isn’t going the way you expected.”

  Russ bumped their arms together. “You’re so diplomatic.”

  Stephen gave him a small smile. “I just hate the thought of you feeling bad about this.”

  “I think I just have to get over myself,” Russ said as he reached the front of the line.

  “I wouldn’t have said that, but …”

  “It’s fine.” Russ offered him a wry little grin. “I know it, even if I don’t like to admit it.”

  They both fell silent as they waited for the Ferris wheel to slow and for the people to get off. They slid in a moment later and when the lap bar was in place, Stephen looked over at Russ. He appeared deep in thought and Stephen brushed their fingers together as the wheel rose a partial turn, then paused to let people on and off of the next car.

  Russ glanced over and Stephen gave him a reassuring smile. “We’ve got this, I promise.”

  “This parenting thing?”

  “Yes. And life in general.”

  The Ferris wheel paused again, and Stephen took a deep breath and let it out. Russ did the same. “This was a good idea,” Russ said. “This ride, I mean.” He leaned
a little more heavily into Stephen’s side and rested his hand on Stephen’s thigh.

  Far below, the excited screams of kids filled the air, rising over the band playing and the noise of the rides. It was a clear, warm night, but up so high there was a slight breeze that made Stephen’s shirt collar flutter against his neck.

  Stephen wrapped his arm around Russ’s shoulder and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Thanks for suggesting we come tonight.”

  “Thanks for coming with me.”

  He captured Russ’s hand. “We’ll figure this out, okay? Give it time. Right now, Austin is safe—well, as safe as anyone is on rides like this—and he knows we care. That is enough. We are doing enough.”

  Russ let out a little chuckle and rubbed his thumb over Stephen’s ring as the Ferris wheel slowly began to descend. “I know. Thanks for being here to talk me down when I get all up in my head.”

  “I wouldn’t have done this without you, Russ. But I am glad we decided to.”

  “I am too,” Russ said. “There is no one else I’d rather do this with.”

  “I would certainly hope not,” Stephen teased, pulling a real smile from Russ. “Because it may be three of us now, but I have no intention of being replaced as your partner and Austin’s foster dad,” he teased.

  Russ smiled. “You don’t think I should trade you in for a younger model?”

  A few years ago, that would have made Stephen bristle but now he just shook his head. “Nah. I think you’re stuck with me.”

  “And here I thought I’d leased you for a couple of years and could swap you out for something new and shiny.”

  “Excuse me,” Stephen said, pretending to be offended. “I am still plenty new and shiny.”

  Russ grinned and Stephen saw the minute the weight he’d been carrying around lifted. “I guess you’re all right.”

  Stephen leaned in. “When we get home, I’ll show you just how all right I am.”

  Russ’s eyes gleamed. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  Austin was waiting for them right on time, in exactly the place they’d agreed on. “Where were you? You’re late by two minutes!” He didn’t sound upset or worried this time though. In fact, he almost seemed like he was teasing.

  Russ looked at his watch with a smile. “You’re right, we are. The Ferris wheel must have taken a little longer than we planned. I am sorry about that.”

  “This is what you get for letting old people go off on their own,” Stephen said. “We can’t be trusted.”

  Austin rolled his eyes, but he was definitely smiling. “Can I get an elephant ear now?”

  “Sure.” Stephen pulled some cash out. “Get one for each of us.”

  “Okay.” He was off like a shot.

  “And a water please,” Russ called after him.

  Austin devoured his elephant ear in the time it took Stephen to eat less than half of his. When he’d had enough, he looked down to see cinnamon sugar liberally sprinkling his pristine white shirt and jeans. “What a mess,” he said as he carefully dusted himself off. “I think I’m full though. Anyone want the rest?”

  Russ shook his head. Austin’s eyes lit up. “I can have more?”

  “Sure,” Stephen said. It wasn’t like they did this every night. “Why not?”

  Austin devoured the remainder of the elephant ear in no time flat but when Russ didn’t quite finish his, even Austin had to admit he’d reached his limit.

  “So full,” Austin moaned. He glanced down at his hands. “And I’m kinda sticky now.”

  Russ snagged a paper napkin from the dispenser on the table and doused it in water. “Here, you can use this to clean up.”

  “Are you ready to head out?” Stephen asked. “Or is there something else you’d like to do?”

  “Can I try to win something before we go?” Austin snuck a glance at him.

  Stephen glanced over at Russ who shrugged. “I don’t see why not. Which game do you want to play?”

  “I dunno what it’s called. I’ll show you though.”

  They followed in Austin’s wake a little more slowly as he darted through the crowds to a booth that had a water gun you had to aim at a target.

  “What do you want to win?” Russ asked.

  “The rainbow unicorn there.” He shot them a look like he was daring them to tell him he couldn’t have it, though Stephen wasn’t sure if it was the cost or the fact that it was brightly rainbow-colored and, undoubtedly, something a lot of people would considering inappropriate for a teenage boy.

  The thing was enormous. It would cost a small fortune to win. No doubt the game was rigged against them and it would be cheaper to buy it outright from somewhere else, but Stephen could imagine how boring that would be to a kid. “Okay,” he said.

  He paid the exorbitant price for a bunch of chances and watched Austin pick up the water pistol and squint at the target. The goal was to hit the tiny hole in the center of the target and fill up a water balloon. Austin’s first attempts only got his balloon filled partway and he sighed after half a dozen tries didn’t yield any results.

  “May I suggest something?” Stephen finally asked as he stepped closer.

  Austin glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “I guess.”

  “Prop your arm up like this,” He said, demonstrating what he meant. “It’ll give you a steadier hand.” Austin copied him. “Yeah, perfect. Give that a try.”

  Two shots later, he filled the balloon, and let out a loud, excited whoop.

  “Nice job!” Stephen praised him.

  Russ held out a hand for a high five and Austin rolled his eyes but slapped their palms together. He bounced on his toes as he waited for the man running the booth to pull down one of the giant unicorns. The sight made Stephen smile. He liked seeing Austin let go and have fun. Act like a kid.

  “Well done!” Stephen said. “That was great.”

  Austin shot him a shy little smile, then ducked his head and pressed it against the unicorn. “I won it for Kellie,” he said softly.

  Stephen patted his shoulder. “That’s a really nice gesture. You’re very thoughtful.” He refrained from telling Austin that the last thing a homeless young woman needed was a giant stuffed animal. Practical gift or not, the gesture was what mattered, and Stephen would never discourage him from doing kind things for the people he loved.

  Austin clutched the unicorn in his arms as they walked back to the car, struggling to see over its bulk so Stephen steered him through the crowds by the shoulder to keep him from running into people. Over Austin’s head, Stephen shot Russ a smile.

  After Austin settled in the back seat and buckled his seatbelt, he clutched the unicorn again. As Stephen pulled out of the parking spot and they waited in the line of cars that slowly crept toward the exit, Stephen thought about what a mix of things Austin was. At times he seemed like a world-weary teenager. At others, he was like a little kid. That was probably normal for a thirteen-year-old, but he also knew Austin’s previous experiences had only made that more extreme. He’d had to face fear and loss and uncertainty far greater than most children. He’d been forced to grow up faster than any kid should, and Stephen hoped he and Russ could find ways to make Austin trust them. It wouldn’t undo the past, but if he could trust that they weren’t going anywhere, maybe he’d have a chance for a more normal adolescence.

  Russ turned music on, something from a local singer he’d discovered recently, and after they left the fairgrounds, he held out a hand. Stephen clasped it and squeezed. A quick glance at Russ showed a peaceful expression on his face, and he looked relaxed and content as he listened to the music. Stephen knew how he felt. Tonight had been good.

  Austin had been silent since they got in the car, and Stephen glanced in the rearview mirror, wondering if Austin had fallen asleep. He had the unicorn in his lap, arms wrapped tightly around it, and he leaned against the window as if watching the lights outside.

  “This was fun,” Stephen said softly. “Thank you for suggesting this
, Russ. And thank you for coming with us, Austin.”

  Russ just squeezed his hand and when Stephen glanced back, Austin looked up and met Stephen’s gaze in the mirror. He offered him a tentative half-smile. Stephen smiled back and felt a sense of hope.

  This wasn’t going to be an easy road for any of them, but he was confident they’d all get there in time.

  SIXTEEN

  “Oh my God, where have you been, Austin?” Kellie asked the minute they walked into the Open Doors drop-in center. Austin had missed the past two Wednesdays. He hadn’t been happy with Russ and Stephen that he’d have to miss them, but he’d gone along without too much fuss.

  “I told you, I had school stuff and a dentist appointment,” Austin said. He sounded annoyed. “And where were you last Saturday?” He thrust the unicorn he’d been clutching in his arms at his sister. “I got this for you.”

  “I was busy.” Kellie pushed the toy back toward him. “And what the hell am I going to do with a stuffed unicorn, Austin? I don’t have anywhere to put it!”

  His face crumpled. “I won it for you at the fair!”

  “What are you trying to do? Show off how rich your new dads are? With enough money, anyone can win a big prize. It’s not like it’s anything to brag about,” she said scornfully.

  “Why are you being so mean?” Austin yelled.

  Russ laid a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Austin, Kellie, you both need to keep it down. I understand you’re frustrated with each other but–”

  “You don’t understand anything,” Kellie said furiously, glaring at him from under her fringe of bangs. “You have no idea what we’ve been through.”

  “Outside,” Russ firmly. “Both of you.”

  Maria, who had appeared in the doorway from the study room, nodded at them. “I’ll keep an eye on the desk while you sort this out, Russ. Let me know if you need anything.”

  Russ opened the front door and gestured for Austin and Kellie to go outside. They shot him identical baleful, annoyed glances but did it anyway. Russ didn’t have a clue what to say or what to do, but he was going to have to figure it out.