Snowstorms and Second Chances Page 5

  “It’s freezing in here,” Erik muttered. He’d heard Seth tossing and turning a few minutes before, so he knew he wasn’t sleeping any better than Erik was. “This is ridiculous.”

  “You could always crawl in with me,” Seth said, his tone bordering on flirtatious. “At least, my bed’s not near the window. I promise I’ll keep you toasty warm too.”

  “Another ploy to take advantage of me?” Erik joked. His heart leapt in his throat at the thought. “I mean, you did get me drunk earlier, and now you’re inviting me into your bed.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” Seth made a disparaging noise. “You put away a hell of a lot more liquor than that at the airport bar this afternoon and seemed perfectly coherent. Two little shots of bourbon several hours ago was nothing. We’re both sober and fully clothed right now. Come on. I’m not actually hitting on you. I swear. We’re both freezing, and there’s no point in spending a miserable night not sleeping when we can combine our blankets and our body heat. I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

  Erik slid out of bed, apprehensive and not at all sure he was making the right decision. He yanked the covers off his bed, then piled them on top of Seth. He felt a flutter of nerves as he slid into the bed next to him. He truly didn’t think Seth would do anything inappropriate, but it was weird getting into bed with a man he barely knew. And maybe a tiny part of him wondered what it would be like if Seth did make a move. Which was even weirder.

  They lay six or so inches apart, and Erik held himself rigid as he lay on his side facing away from Seth, still shivering. But as the warmth of more blankets and another person’s body heat slowly seeped into his bones, he felt his muscles soften, and he let out a little sigh.

  “Finally,” Seth muttered.

  “Finally what?”

  “You finally unclenched.”

  Erik laughed, and it was too loud in the quiet room. “I’m sorry. I don’t usually crawl into bed with strange men. I mean, I’ve never shared a bed with a man before at all actually.” Not even a college buddy, and Erik had no brothers.

  “Shame. You should try it sometime. It can be a lot of fun.” Seth sounded amused.

  “Yeah, well, I’m not gay,” he reminded Seth.

  “I know. You’ve told me several times that you were married to a woman. Though that wouldn’t stop you from being bi though.”

  “Bi.” Erik turned the word over in his head.

  “You know, bisexual. Attracted to both men and women ...”

  “I know what it means.”

  “Okay. I’m just saying there are a lot of people who spend a lot of years dating people of one gender before they realize they’re open to someone outside of that.”

  “Why are we even talking about this?”

  Seth fell silent, but Erik debated if he should as the question was swirling around in his brain.

  “What about you?” Erik finally asked, his tone tentative.

  “What about me?” Seth asked.

  “Are you gay? Or ... or bi?”

  “Oh, I’m gay. I’m also a never say never kinda guy, so if I met a woman who blew me away, I’d see what happens. I just never have. I like men. But I don’t see it being a big deal either way. Like I said earlier, if I were in desperate need of an orgasm and a woman offered to jerk me off ...”

  “Right.”

  Erik could just imagine what his father would have said about all of that. Erik remembered how angry he’d been when he’d caught his son kissing a boy from school ... Erik jerked in surprise. He’d nearly forgotten about that memory.

  He couldn’t remember the boy’s name at all. But he did remember his father’s red face as he screamed at Erik about how wrong it was for him to do it and that not only would he be punished, his friend’s father would lose his job. Since the man worked for the elder Mr. Josef, it was a real threat. Erik hadn’t so much as looked at his friend after that. He hadn’t dared to. They’d moved away a short while later, and Erik hadn’t thought of him since.

  “Erik?” He blinked when he realized Seth had said his name, a worried undertone to his voice. “Are you okay? You cold still or something? It felt like you got a chill.”

  Seth turned on his side behind Erik and rubbed his upper arm briskly. Erik was tempted to brush his hand off, but it felt ... almost nice. Even if he wasn’t that cold anymore.

  “I’m okay,” he finally said.

  “Sorry. Probably shouldn’t have put my hands on you without asking first. I’ll stop if you want me to. Just say the word.”

  That was an odd way of putting it. Did that mean he’d keep going if Erik didn’t say something? Curious to see what would happen, Erik didn’t tell him to stop.

  A part of him wanted to scoot forward out of reach but the contact felt nice. With a jolt, Erik realized he actually couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched him more intimately than a handshake or the regular massages he’d gotten. He truly doubted Robin would have cared if he’d fucked other people, but he’d just turned that part of himself off. Masturbating in the shower every morning had been enough. Even once he was separated from Robin, he’d hesitated to get involved with anyone. It had seemed too likely to cause complications, and he didn’t have the time or energy for it. This felt good though. Not sexual, just ... comforting.

  Warm and relaxed now, Erik’s eyelids grew heavy, and he began to drift off. He was dimly aware when the movement of Seth’s hand slowed too, and it slid to rest on Erik’s torso, his palm flat against Erik’s stomach, but Erik slipped into sleep before he could move away.

  Chapter Four

  December 25

  Erik awoke in the morning, toasty warm except for his nose, which was the only thing peeking out of the mound of covers he was buried under. He stiffened when he realized where he was and why he was so warm. He and Seth had shared a bed last night after the temperature in the room had dipped below bearable. They’d talked about sexuality—Erik was still mulling over the word bisexual in his head—and Seth had rubbed his arm to keep him warm.

  It had clearly worked; Erik had fallen asleep quickly and slept deeply. Now, Seth was curled around him with one arm flung over Erik’s side and his hand rested low on Erik’s belly. His hips were snugged up tight against Erik’s backside. Something hard poked at the small of Erik’s back. Oh. Presumably, Seth’s morning hard-on. Erik had one of his own. In fact, if Seth’s hand drifted any lower, he was going to feel it.

  An odd sensation skittered over Erik’s body at the thought, and he grew harder. He’d woken up with enough morning erections to know they didn’t mean much of anything. But getting more aroused thinking about Seth touching him ... well, that was something else entirely. It had to be the proximity to another human body that was doing it. Erik was so damn starved for physical contact that anything—even the thought of a man touching him—had set him off. Awkward, but not the end of the world. It wasn’t significant.

  And yet, his mind kept replaying the long-forgotten memory of the innocent kiss with the boy from school—Trevor, the name popped into his head suddenly—and he felt a strange swooping sensation in his stomach. Had he felt something with Trevor then? At the age of six or seven or whatever he’d been at the time. Had he been curious? He remembered little but the feeling of friendship he’d had with Trevor and the urge to be even closer to him.

  Erik had buried it all for so long, and now here he was in bed with another man. A gay man. A gay man who was—by any reasonable definition—attractive. And who had flirted with him a little. Made him smile when he’d expected to spend a miserable Christmas Eve alone, moping in a seedy Buffalo hotel room. It wasn’t Tahiti, but it was ... nice.

  “Mmm, good morning,” Seth said sleepily. He tightened his grip around Erik’s torso, pulling their bodies closer together.

  “Don’t you mean Merry Christmas?” Erik asked, his voice still a little hoarse from sleep.

  Seth jerked and loosened his grip, backing away from Erik until their bodies no longer t
ouched. “Shit. Sorry, Erik. I think I forgot who I was in bed with.”

  “You wake up in a lot of crappy hotel rooms with strange men?” Erik asked. He was almost sorry Seth was no longer pressed against him. But too confused to do anything about it.

  “I mean, not all the time.” Seth sounded amused. “But it’s been known to happen.”

  “I suppose that makes sense with your job. You probably meet lots of people.” Erik cringed. That had come out wrong. He hadn’t meant it to sound so judgmental.

  “Look, I’ve had my share of casual sex,” Seth said. “It does sometimes get lonely when I’m traveling, so when there’s no one to come home to, sure, if I meet someone interesting, I’m not opposed to hooking up with them.”

  “No, that makes sense.” Erik flipped onto his back and rubbed at his face, not feeling quite awake enough for this conversation. “I wasn’t judging.”

  “Yes, you were,” Seth gently chided him. “But it’s fine.”

  “Fine, maybe I was. But only because I’ve never experienced it. I met Robin, my ex, my freshman year of college. We were married immediately after graduation, and she had our daughter Joanna before my twenty-second birthday, so I never had time to have casual sex.”

  “Wow,” Seth said. He sounded a little stunned.

  Erik turned to look at Seth, who gave him a sleepy smile. His hair stuck up wildly all around him, and he stretched before burrowing under the covers again. Ridiculous.

  “Now who’s judging?” Erik retorted.

  “Okay, fair.” Seth shrugged. “But you never once cheated on your wife?”

  “No,” Erik said shortly. “Not my style.”

  Seth settled a hand on Erik’s chest, but there were too many layers of blankets to feel anything but the weight of it. “I admire that. I’ve never cheated on a partner either.”

  Surprised, it took Erik a moment to respond. “With a job like yours, it would have been easy to do.”

  “It would have been,” Seth agreed. “But the right thing isn’t always the easy thing.”

  “True.”

  The silence stretched and grew awkward. Erik wanted to ask Seth about the thoughts churning around in his head—namely, if the fact that he’d kissed a boy years ago and shared a bed with Seth last night and enjoyed both had any significance—but he couldn’t seem to get the words out. Bisexual. He turned the word over in his mind again. Was that ... was that even possible? He wasn’t repulsed by the idea, mostly confused. Could a man really make it to the age of forty-three without realizing he was attracted to other men? But the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. He’d hardly noticed women in the past two decades either. He’d glanced at attractive women and acknowledged in his head that they were appealing to him but shutting down the sexual side of himself so thoroughly had kept him from dwelling on it. Had he done the same with men?

  Erik wracked his brain, trying to remember if he’d checked out men in the locker room at the gym. He’d taken note of men with particularly nice bodies—lean and toned seemed to be his preference—but he was also built that way, so he’d assumed it had been purely practical. He’d thought he’d been trying to figure out what workouts they did so he could achieve the same look, but what if it had been more? Had he ever looked at a man and thought about touching him? He wasn’t sure. It all felt vague and confusing right now.

  “You’re thinking awfully hard over there,” Seth said.

  “I tend to do that,” Erik admitted.

  “You know what they say about all work and no play.” Seth propped himself up on his elbow and smiled down at him. A piece of hair fell into his eyes, and Erik nearly reached out to brush it away.

  Why was it that this all felt so normal with Seth? It didn’t make sense. They’d known each other for less than twenty-four hours. He’d barely been able to tolerate the man yesterday. Though that was mostly on Erik. He’d been in a foul mood and taken it out on someone who didn’t deserve it. When Seth gave him a quizzical look, Erik remembered Seth had asked him a question about all work and no play, and he scrambled to come up with a response. “Well, I don’t know about Jack but Erik has been a very dull boy for a lot of years,” he admitted.

  “Maybe we’ll have to do something about that,” Seth said with a little grin.

  Erik felt a thrill go through his body, wondering exactly what Seth had in mind. “Is more spiked coffee a part of it?”

  “It might be.” Seth licked his lips. “But I have a few other ideas up my sleeve.”

  Erik lifted his arm above his head and pillowed his head on his hand. “I don’t know if that should scare me or excite me.”

  “How about both?” Seth’s eyes seemed to dance with merriment. “I mean, when you planned your trip to Buffalo, I doubt you pictured waking up on Christmas morning with a strange man in your bed.”

  Erik laughed. “I think technically I’m in your bed.”

  Seth gave him an assessing look. “Oh, honey, if you were in my bed, we’d be wearing a lot less clothing, and we wouldn’t have to worry about staying warm.”

  And like that, Erik’s body went up in flames as heat rolled through him. What would that be like? Other than a few moments last night, he’d never contemplated sex with another man. But now it was all he could think about. Touching the soft-looking hair on Seth’s chest, feeling Seth’s tongue slip into his mouth, wrapping his hand around his cock ... Erik felt his own cock lurch in his boxer briefs, and he wondered if it was visible under the mound of blankets. A few minutes ago, his morning erection had begun to wane, but the images in his head had brought it roaring back to life.

  “Oh, how cute. You’re blushing.” Seth grinned at him as he flung back the covers on his side of the bed. “Well, I’ll leave you to imagine that while I go take my shower.” He winked, which sent another wave of heat through Erik.

  Embarrassed and aroused, all Erik could do was stare at Seth as he sauntered toward the bathroom. His ass was firm and round under the thin material of his pajamas, and the long-sleeve T-shirt he wore clung to his shoulders and narrow waist. Yeah, okay, the fact Erik had even noticed that clearly meant something.

  Seth paused before he rounded the corner to go into the bathroom. He turned half-back to face Erik, who caught a glimpse of a hard cock straining against the fabric of his pants. Erik’s gaze lingered there for a moment, and when he looked up, Seth had a knowing smile on his face. “Just so you know, I can’t promise I won’t be thinking about you being in my bed too.”

  When the bathroom door shut behind him, Erik groaned and covered his face with his hands. Okay, so he was clearly attracted to Seth. And he was pretty sure Seth knew it. And Seth had just made his interest clear. But what did that mean? Should Erik act on it? That was ridiculous. But a part of him wondered—wasn’t it the perfect solution? Clearly, he had some sort of weird, latent attraction to men, and he and Seth had another day or two together. Once it was all over, he’d never have to see Seth again, so he’d be spared any embarrassing awkwardness that could come from running into him after. Why not? At least, then he’d know how he felt, and he’d probably never have a better opportunity.

  But how was he supposed to seduce a man? Erik snorted at the thought. That was absurd sounding. He’d never seduced anyone, not even Robin. She’d flirted with him at a party. She’d been the one to make the first move, not him. And that had been more than twenty years ago. He was beyond rusty, if he’d ever had the skills to begin with.

  But there was no denying the fact that he was achingly hard right now.

  Erik skimmed a hand across the front of his pajama pants and nearly groaned aloud at the touch. Before he could stop himself, he slid his hand under the waistband and into his underwear. The touch of his own hand was so good it made his balls ache, but as he closed his eyes and pictured Seth’s hand instead, he felt a need so strong it almost took his breath away. When he tried picturing the imaginary bikini-clad woman in Tahiti he’d been fantasizing about earlier, she disso
lved like smoke, replaced with an image of Seth in a bathing suit, his skin wet from the water and getting a little bronzed from the sun.

  His eyes popped open. Yeah, okay, he definitely wanted to explore that.

  But he had no idea how to make it happen.

  Erik somehow managed to calm himself, get out of bed, and dress before Seth came out of the bathroom but only just. Seth emerged in a cloud of steam and shivered when he hit the chilly air of the room. “Fucking hell, it’s cold in here. Is the heater not working at all?”

  Erik shrugged, tearing his gaze away from Seth’s wet chest—all too reminiscent of the Tahitian beach fantasy he’d been enjoying earlier—and looked down at the heater. “I can feel a little bit of warmth coming out, it’s just not enough to counteract that.” Erik had opened the curtains earlier, but there wasn’t much to be seen. Just heavy, wet snowflakes coming down with no sign of stopping. Seth grimaced.

  The windows were old, singled-paned sliders with metal frames. So poorly sealed around the edges he could feel the cold air coming in if he held up his hand. All new windows for the entire place then, Erik thought with a sigh, mentally tallying what that would cost.

  “The woman at the desk said breakfast was included with our room,” Seth said. “I was thinking we could go down now and see what they have to offer. Almost anything would be better than going out.”

  “Oh, sure.” Erik was mesmerized by the flex in Seth’s arms as he rummaged through his suitcase.

  Seth stood up, clothing clutched in one hand. “I mean, we don’t have to go out to breakfast together.” He let out a rueful little laugh. “I did crash your plans and take over your room and ... well, I won’t be offended if you just want me out of your hair.”

  “Oh.” Erik felt a flash of surprise go through him. As eager as he’d been to get rid of Seth yesterday—Jesus, was that just yesterday?—he was in no hurry to do so today. “No, it would be nice to have someone to eat with. I’m used to traveling alone and eating alone, and I’m sure you are too, but ...” But I don’t feel so lonely with you around.